Blog by Heather Howell
I’m not putting this here to brag because what was going on here wasn’t pretty at all. Frankly, I still find myself right here again more often than not. Personally, I’m getting comfortable with, “if this is what it takes”. #surrender
This was October 2020 before the first of only two Be.Free. conferences held. I was losing my mind having to forgive someone very close to me. I knew that I could not lead anything with the hurt, anger, and all the frustration in my heart. My own sinful responses of judgements were thick too. All that would turn to resentment and bitterness, then distort everything the Spirit wanted to do that day. I had two choices: Rise up, shove it under the rug and keep going, so operate in my own strength. Fleeting. Exhausting. Or go low and choose to forgive. Choose to repent of my judgements and operate in His strength. Then there could be an authentic rise up. Life giving.
To me, there was only one choice. I’d operated that first way my whole life. I was done. It doesn’t work girls. We will be overwhelmed, guilt ridden, and easily spinning. Fake it until we make it just doesn’t work. I’m putting this here to say if we want victory in our lives, if we want to lead well, and everyone reading is a leader to their children, we desperately need to commit to wage war in prayer. It is our means to rise up and rise up with God as our strength not our own. It is our means to lay all the burdens down at his feet and never pick it back up again. When God’s warriors pray (and you all are warriors) heaven hears and heaven moves on our behalf. There is peace. There is true joy. There is freedom.
Father, help us to be authentic to where we are and to surrender all of our own ways of handling life. We are here to say we need you. Have your way. Pull my roots up and help me to settle into your love, freedom and peace for me. In Jesus name. Amen.